When left untreated, manipulation can have long-lasting and devastating effects on an adult’s life, just as it can on children. When we carry these emotional and physiological knife wounds from childhood into adulthood, they have a negative impact on our relationships, professions, happiness, health, etc., unless we process our feelings and heal by feeling them.
Here are 7 signs suggested by Dr. Malini Saba, a psychologist, self-made businesswoman, human and social rights activist, environmentalist, and founder and chairman of the Anannke Foundation, that you have been psychologically and emotionally manipulated while growing up:
- They guilt-trip you:
The manipulation of guilt is a tactic utilized by manipulative persons everywhere. Typically, it begins with a request that you cannot reasonably fulfill. The more you attempt to refuse, the guiltier they will make you feel. The following indicators may indicate that you were manipulated as a child: received sarcastic comments about your work or progress; encountered adults who were frustrated yet said there was no problem when questioned; got harsh remarks about your body and weight; been reminded of previous mistakes, etc.
- Emotional Punishment:
Using emotional abuse to blackmail children is a manipulative strategy that renders the child powerless. Children are frequently subjected to emotional blackmail by adults. They manipulate them through shame, fear, pressure, threats, patience, and affection. They employ this tactic to manipulate the child’s emotions so that they comply with their demand.
- Gaslighting:
Gaslighting is a type of psychological manipulation that adults employ to exert control and influence over children. It is a frequent manipulative technique employed by toxic family members and can have a severe impact on the child’s self-esteem. Manipulation is indicated by gaslighting, which can have lasting effects on a child’s emotional and mental health. Signs include neglecting a child’s subjective experience, ignoring their sentiments, and twisting the truth for their own reasons, among others.
- Influence through Gifts:
Adults can manage and control the decisions and behaviours of children by providing them with gifts and money.
There is evidence that manipulative adults use gifts to exert influence over children. Giving them everything they desire can prevent them from growing independent and keep them under their control. In turn, this can have an impact on a child’s development and lead to a lifetime of dependence and codependence when they grow up as adults.
5- Adults did not offer you privacy:
The majority of manipulative adults attempt to control every area of their children’s lives in order to keep them obedient. This includes repeatedly breaching their privacy and denying them any privacy. This is due to their desire to control every aspect of their children’s lives and their conviction that they have the right to know everything about them.
They examine children’s belongings, read their private thoughts, and attempt to regulate who they speak with and what they do. This is not only intrusive and immoral, but it can also be detrimental to the adult-child connection, particularly if you are an adult yourself.
- Setting unreasonable standards:
Setting high expectations for children is one indication that you were raised by manipulative adults. This is because they do not provide the proper environment for children to reach their objectives.
In addition, they rarely take a child’s age and abilities into account when fulfilling this criterion. These children would undoubtedly be under pressure to perform exceedingly well and impress the adults in their environment. When these children grow up as adults, they always try to validate their thoughts through others.
7- Relationships based on conditions:
Conditional love indicates that as you matured, an adult exerted control over you. You will get their approval if you conform to their criteria.
If their children do not meet their standards and expectations, they withhold their affection until they improve. Adults exert such influence over children because they recognise their desire for praise, affection, and attention.
